How you spend your time shows what you value most. Couples who spend quality alone time with each other weekly report higher levels of happiness, positive communication, and sexual satisfaction. This is at a rate three times greater than those who don’t spend that time together. That is a significant payoff without even having to leave the house, and a powerful preventative to costly counseling, which may become necessary if you don’t date your partner.
Date nights in can be just as meaningful as date nights out, as long as you plan it out, put effort into your appearance, and stay focused on each other. Ideas include playing games and laughing together, taking turns reading an enjoyable book aloud while the other gives a foot massage, having drinks while watching the sunset from the porch, or going for a leisurely stroll while talking about your future dreams.
Plan to go out for a date at least once a month and more often if possible. Every now and then, splurge on something special, especially for your birthdays and anniversaries. No matter what you do, keep a specific night of the week blocked off for date nights and stick to it. Brainstorm date night ideas together and take turns being the one to plan the date. Don’t be afraid to try new things to show your partner you are willing to do something they enjoy. Every now and then, make the night’s events a total surprise for the other person to keep things exciting. Try ax throwing or a shooting range, a four-course food-truck-hopping date, couple’s yoga, or kayaking. You can even test-drive expensive cars you have no intention of buying or get a tattoo together.
Create a date night playlist of music you both enjoy. Make sure your vehicle is clean and smells nice. Spritz romantic essential oils like sandalwood or ylang-ylang or diffuse these oils in the house. If you or your partner are alloromantic, romance often starts in the mind and needs to be built up in advance. Do an act of kindness for your partner that morning. Write a love note for your partner to find midday or send them a flirty text message while at work to let them know that you are looking forward to your time together. Put extra effort into looking your best, like you did when you were first dating. Take notice of the energy your partner put into their appearance, and be sure to compliment them.
When on your date, avoid talking too much about your children or stressful topics. Use this time to get to know your partner on a deeper level by being a good listener and asking deep questions. Appreciate their positive qualities, and speak words of encouragement. Give them the gift of presence by staying away from your phone and TV. Show affection on your date, and don’t forget to flirt with them like you used to!
“Do what you did in the beginning of your relationship and there won’t be an end.”