Feb 2, 2021

Its OK to Simplify Your Life

by Aspen, Trainer of the Things

As we all know, this past year has been a tough one. For me it has brought a lot of time process how I got to this point in my life, and to work through some things. With the help of crowd-sourced psychology on social media, I have been able to learn a great deal about myself, my childhood, why I am the way that I am, and what I should do about it. This has led to me making some changes, recognizing situations in my life that don’t work for me, processing how I got to them, and coming to terms with letting them go.

One of the things that I have changed recently had to do with the responsibilities in my life. I had one obligation that was causing me a lot of stress, anxiety, and extra work. It was something I had taken on when I first got married in 2015, and now as a single mom in a pandemic, it would push me over the edge from coping to tears when something came up that I had to deal with. But I had made a commitment to it, and I was sticking with it, despite what it was doing for my mental health.

This obligation was once again frustrating me recently, and I reached out to a good friend in a similar situation and asked her how she coped with it. It turned out that she was much more passionate about it than I was, and ready to take on more. We discussed at length, and in the end, she took over my responsibility for me. 

I felt immense guilt over the idea of giving up. I still feel immense guilt, actually. But looking back at how I ended up in that situation, it wasn’t something I had ever really wanted. It was something my ex-husband, wanted me to do. He could be volatile and abusive, so I went along with a lot of things back then trying to keep him happy without any thought about what I wanted for myself. It was all about keeping him in a good mood. Now, divorced for almost two years, why was I still holding on to a responsibility that was time-consuming, expensive, stressful, and that I hadn’t actually wanted in the first place, especially when there was someone out there whose life could be enriched by taking it on for me? Someone who would do an even better job than I was capable of doing? 

It’s been several weeks now, and while I still feel guilt, my life is so much easier. It’s like a load has been lifted from my shoulders, and I am starting to see things in a new way. I have more time to enjoy my son, and I feel much more in control of my life. 

So the point is, it’s ok to simplify your life. It’s ok to look at what isn’t working for you and make positive changes. Self-analysis is crucial to understanding yourself and how to be happy. So what can you change in your life to make it work for you better?